I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
