bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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