I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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