You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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