i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
