Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
