You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
