the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
