Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize