You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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