If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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