I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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