adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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