This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
