Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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