My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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