My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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