shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
