Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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