O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
