i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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