if you like me you must not know who I am
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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