Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just want to make out with him forever
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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