I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
