so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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