You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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