you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
