I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
