What did we do last night that was yellow?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
