I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
