Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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