I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
