It's like a parade of train wrecks.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
