how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
