Sponge bath it is.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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