A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
MIDGETS
????
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
