ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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