She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
