I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
home. puking in laundry basket.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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