Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
thus making me awesome and them whores
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
