windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
