i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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