So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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