Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
