she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
