either way he was missing a nipple.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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