South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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