It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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