No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
