Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
