I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
