Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
