sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize