the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
