sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
