Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
