Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize