I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Say something about gay babies.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
