Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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