my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
