We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
