I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
