3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
God I need to hump something, right now.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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