How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
