Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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