so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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