D3 body, D1 cock
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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