Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
